Bits & Pieces

I love being the weird new girl.

I think in some way, it’s been part of what keeps me exploring and moving forward even when things seem a bit bleak. I enjoy meeting people and learning their quirks, their interests and how they spend their time. They tell me their weird hobbies and I can share mine, and we can experience the joy that we both find in our craft. I just really love watching people move through life, and gaining tips and tricks from those around me.

One of my favourite things has been noticing the things that people pick up about myself as well. Things like getting a bag of beach glass, skulls and stones from a friend simply because they knew I’d like them. Being gifted Ginkgo leaves from another friend’s yard because they saw them on the ground and knew if I were there, I’d scoop them up. Or even a friend remembering that I don’t like artificial vanilla, due to eating homemade vanilla scented play-dough as a child (which I will admit is a memorable story, but the fact that they noted it the next time they offered me tea/coffee was appreciated!)

It makes me wonder how many habits or perspectives I’ve gained from those around me. At the end of the day, we are all mosaics of one another. 

When I put my hair in a claw clip, I see my mother doing her hair this way every morning before work. During thunderstorms, I make sure to sit near the window and take photos as my father always has. I charge my necklaces under the moon like a friend taught me to do, and advice from another friend reveals itself when I make sure to thank nature for its gifts. Bits and pieces, odd and ends, all the small habits I’ve picked up are all parts of other humans that make me who I am. I think that realization is beyond beautiful. 

It makes me realize that I need to question my own beliefs too. How many things have I turned my nose up at due to someone else’s opinion on the matter without even knowing? How much of me has been curated to impress those around me, even if those people aren’t even around me anymore?

Life has transitioned from being a script I can't follow to a story that I’m part of writing. I realize that although I’m an author, I am not the ringleader. I can write my own stories, but every once in a while someone will certainly come along with some unwarranted editing to my pre-established plot-line (even if that editing is something as simple as changing plans last minute). I have to acknowledge that sometimes the cards are shuffled and I have to sort through whatever I’ve got at the given moment. That mindset has changed a lot of how I operate. 

I’m excited to continue to deconstruct my own beliefs and re-learn life. I feel a much bigger urge to experience it rather than control it. Who cares if we don’t know what to do, we’re only human.

With love,

Cae